Black Horse
09-12-2007, 09:52 AM
~ The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
~ I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
~ I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
~ I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
~ I will not eat the cats' food--before they eat it or after they throw it up.
~ I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
~ I will not throw up in the car.
~ I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
~ "Kitty box crunchies"--although they are tasty--are not food.
~ I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
~ The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
~ I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
~ I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
~ When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
~ We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
~ I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
~ The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.
~ My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
~ I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and car registration.
~ I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
~ I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option just after getting a bath.
~ Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
~ I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
~ The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
~ The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
~ I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
~ I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
~ I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
~ I will not eat the cats' food--before they eat it or after they throw it up.
~ I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
~ I will not throw up in the car.
~ I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
~ "Kitty box crunchies"--although they are tasty--are not food.
~ I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
~ The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
~ I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
~ I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
~ When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
~ We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
~ I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
~ The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.
~ My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
~ I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and car registration.
~ I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
~ I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option just after getting a bath.
~ Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
~ I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
~ The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
~ The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.