dedpedal
11-21-2007, 11:31 PM
Wouldnt you know it? It HAS to happen to me every year. On the day before Thanksgiving, I allways have a major episode at a customers house. This year was no different.
WHY would you schedule a major project on the same day that youre hosting a family reunion? Much less on the day before Thanksgiving???? Well Im here to tell you that theres some fuckwad out there every year that does. I call em "wealthtards". These are the typical fit of the phrase "more money than sense". Oh well, on to my story.
I arrived around 10 am this morning to the proper address, looking as ready as I can for a days work. My customer (the wealthtard) answered the door with a finger to her lipps in the universal signal to be silent and tells me "we have people sleeping". Ok, I can dig that. Hell ,Id like nothing more at this point than to be napping. In quiet whispers, we go over the job and Im ready to go.
I start upstairs in the master bedroom (I dont ever remember our house having a 'master' bedroom.". It was allways Mom and Dad's bedroom. Anywyas. I tint the windows in there and move on to the master bath.Windows in a bathroom? PUUULLEEEZE! We were pretty cool with running water. As Im moving stuff to get to the windows, I noticed a note on a bag of towels. "DONT TOUCH! TOWELS FOR PETER AND MARY" Ok, so I touched them. You know I had to. Then I got mad and masterbated angrily in the hamper.
With that done, Im off to the downstairs. Now theres about 15 people there and its a bit crowded in the kitchen/ dinning area so I set up shop in the great room (we had a living room when I was a kid) and begin tinting the windows there. I was about halfway done when the crowd of wealthtards (I really like that term dont I?) moved into the room I was working in. Im not one to spoil someones fun so I moved to the next room on my list. It turned out to be the den. I walk into an empty room and set up my ladder, clean the first window, measure it and head off to cut my film. When I return, theres Grammpa Wealthtard surfing porn movies on the internet. He had his hearing aid turned way down because he had the volume on the puter cranked! I thought, as he cracked up and giggled at the site on his screen, that the old goober was gonna whip it out and pop a viagra. Hell ,even the thought of this old man whacking it makes me want to be a eunich. I got done in that room and headed back to the greatroom. Believe me, it wasnt so great.
I told the tribe that was camped out there that I had to finnish and I would be out of their hair (probably wigs). They chose to stay and watch so I had to listen to this henhouse gossip while they cackeled on about everyone who wasnt there yet. Things were going ok for me till I felt that urge. You know it, Im sure youve been there. That feeling, grumble or spasm that lets you know that youre digesting things just as they should. Theres really not a good time to fart when theres alot of people nearby. I felt the rumble turn into a tremor and finaly an earthquake type roar. I knew something bad was coming. I had about a full breath to organize my thoughts when it came rumbling down the dark tunnel of my anus. I imediately clamped down and gripped the window sill with both hands. I swear, it felt like I had pinched off a loaf in the middle and found a piece of undigested peanut. I yelped and gripped harder. I knew that if I let go, the force behind that peanut was enough to shred my jeans and probably go thru a womans skull. Ok, mabbe not thru her skull, but a definate stinky brown bruise on her forehead. So I held. And held. And then held some more. I must have looked as if I was having a fit. Finaly it eased (where it eased to happens a bit later) and I returned to normal.
I had almost finnished when the unruly bitch cousin pipes in "I dont like it. It makes it look gloomy and rainy outside". Now, Im usualy pretty easy going, but this time, I almost lost it. Well ,I did "lose" it as youll see soon.
See, I have a bit of an issue. As many of you know, Im pretty frugal with my money unless it comes to my own pleasure or happiness. Needless to say, new undies are far from high priority. Anyways, Amy bought me some new drawers last week and I havent quite got the hang of them. That is, they hang on ME! Now, how does this relate to my tale you ask?
With my many bends and squats today, my BVDS were taking the magic trail south of the equator and my shirt was heading north. Im sure these old wealthtards were getting a kick out of my tinters crack, as they giggled everythime I bent over to pick something up . As my ire at the goofy cousin peaked, I bent over to pick up my knife (which I had dropped). I felt the aftershock of the anal assailent from before working its way out. So instead of clamping on the half digested peanut again, I opted to let some silent pressure vent. You ever have one of those farts that you squeeze off befoe it ever reached the atmospere? Yep, its just like that, only it had gotten past my gas rope muscle and was slowly rising up my crack. I had the presence of mind to, just before it popped out of my waistband, to turn and let my back crack audibly. I covered the sound, but not the smell. It had an odor that very much remembled the white castles I had eaten the night before. While I was thinking of something to say that would cover my escaping anal gasses, I hear one of the sisters whisper " Gramma just shit herself and its your turn to change her diaper".
Needless to say, I held it in the rest of the day unless Gramma was around.
WHY would you schedule a major project on the same day that youre hosting a family reunion? Much less on the day before Thanksgiving???? Well Im here to tell you that theres some fuckwad out there every year that does. I call em "wealthtards". These are the typical fit of the phrase "more money than sense". Oh well, on to my story.
I arrived around 10 am this morning to the proper address, looking as ready as I can for a days work. My customer (the wealthtard) answered the door with a finger to her lipps in the universal signal to be silent and tells me "we have people sleeping". Ok, I can dig that. Hell ,Id like nothing more at this point than to be napping. In quiet whispers, we go over the job and Im ready to go.
I start upstairs in the master bedroom (I dont ever remember our house having a 'master' bedroom.". It was allways Mom and Dad's bedroom. Anywyas. I tint the windows in there and move on to the master bath.Windows in a bathroom? PUUULLEEEZE! We were pretty cool with running water. As Im moving stuff to get to the windows, I noticed a note on a bag of towels. "DONT TOUCH! TOWELS FOR PETER AND MARY" Ok, so I touched them. You know I had to. Then I got mad and masterbated angrily in the hamper.
With that done, Im off to the downstairs. Now theres about 15 people there and its a bit crowded in the kitchen/ dinning area so I set up shop in the great room (we had a living room when I was a kid) and begin tinting the windows there. I was about halfway done when the crowd of wealthtards (I really like that term dont I?) moved into the room I was working in. Im not one to spoil someones fun so I moved to the next room on my list. It turned out to be the den. I walk into an empty room and set up my ladder, clean the first window, measure it and head off to cut my film. When I return, theres Grammpa Wealthtard surfing porn movies on the internet. He had his hearing aid turned way down because he had the volume on the puter cranked! I thought, as he cracked up and giggled at the site on his screen, that the old goober was gonna whip it out and pop a viagra. Hell ,even the thought of this old man whacking it makes me want to be a eunich. I got done in that room and headed back to the greatroom. Believe me, it wasnt so great.
I told the tribe that was camped out there that I had to finnish and I would be out of their hair (probably wigs). They chose to stay and watch so I had to listen to this henhouse gossip while they cackeled on about everyone who wasnt there yet. Things were going ok for me till I felt that urge. You know it, Im sure youve been there. That feeling, grumble or spasm that lets you know that youre digesting things just as they should. Theres really not a good time to fart when theres alot of people nearby. I felt the rumble turn into a tremor and finaly an earthquake type roar. I knew something bad was coming. I had about a full breath to organize my thoughts when it came rumbling down the dark tunnel of my anus. I imediately clamped down and gripped the window sill with both hands. I swear, it felt like I had pinched off a loaf in the middle and found a piece of undigested peanut. I yelped and gripped harder. I knew that if I let go, the force behind that peanut was enough to shred my jeans and probably go thru a womans skull. Ok, mabbe not thru her skull, but a definate stinky brown bruise on her forehead. So I held. And held. And then held some more. I must have looked as if I was having a fit. Finaly it eased (where it eased to happens a bit later) and I returned to normal.
I had almost finnished when the unruly bitch cousin pipes in "I dont like it. It makes it look gloomy and rainy outside". Now, Im usualy pretty easy going, but this time, I almost lost it. Well ,I did "lose" it as youll see soon.
See, I have a bit of an issue. As many of you know, Im pretty frugal with my money unless it comes to my own pleasure or happiness. Needless to say, new undies are far from high priority. Anyways, Amy bought me some new drawers last week and I havent quite got the hang of them. That is, they hang on ME! Now, how does this relate to my tale you ask?
With my many bends and squats today, my BVDS were taking the magic trail south of the equator and my shirt was heading north. Im sure these old wealthtards were getting a kick out of my tinters crack, as they giggled everythime I bent over to pick something up . As my ire at the goofy cousin peaked, I bent over to pick up my knife (which I had dropped). I felt the aftershock of the anal assailent from before working its way out. So instead of clamping on the half digested peanut again, I opted to let some silent pressure vent. You ever have one of those farts that you squeeze off befoe it ever reached the atmospere? Yep, its just like that, only it had gotten past my gas rope muscle and was slowly rising up my crack. I had the presence of mind to, just before it popped out of my waistband, to turn and let my back crack audibly. I covered the sound, but not the smell. It had an odor that very much remembled the white castles I had eaten the night before. While I was thinking of something to say that would cover my escaping anal gasses, I hear one of the sisters whisper " Gramma just shit herself and its your turn to change her diaper".
Needless to say, I held it in the rest of the day unless Gramma was around.