94tchikinv8
02-12-2009, 07:26 PM
I got this on an email list. Thought you guys might like it.
IRS decides to audit Grandpa
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons
him to the IRS
office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when
Grandpa showed up with
his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an
extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by
saying that you
win money gambling.'
'I'm not sure the IRS finds that
believable.'
'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove
it', says Grandpa. 'How
about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said,
'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a
thousand dollars that I can bite
my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says,
'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw
drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two
thousand dollars that I
can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't
blind, so he takes the
bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his
good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has
wagered and lost three
grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts
to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?'
Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk,
and pee into
that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
anywhere in
between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now,
but he looks
carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that
stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his
pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream
reach the wastebasket
on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he
has just turned
a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts
his head in his
hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney.
'This morning, when Grandpa
told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me
twenty-five thousand
dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your
desk and that you'd
be happy about it!'
Don't Mess with Old People!!
IRS decides to audit Grandpa
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons
him to the IRS
office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when
Grandpa showed up with
his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an
extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by
saying that you
win money gambling.'
'I'm not sure the IRS finds that
believable.'
'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove
it', says Grandpa. 'How
about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said,
'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a
thousand dollars that I can bite
my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says,
'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw
drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two
thousand dollars that I
can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't
blind, so he takes the
bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his
good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has
wagered and lost three
grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts
to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?'
Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk,
and pee into
that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
anywhere in
between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now,
but he looks
carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that
stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his
pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream
reach the wastebasket
on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he
has just turned
a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts
his head in his
hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney.
'This morning, when Grandpa
told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me
twenty-five thousand
dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your
desk and that you'd
be happy about it!'
Don't Mess with Old People!!