Black Horse
02-22-2009, 05:50 PM
In light of recent developments in the Stock Market, several terms have been revised:
CEO-Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO- Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET -A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself
for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET -a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife
gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -The art of buying low and selling lower.
STRONG
P/E RATIO-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.
BROKER-What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR-Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST-Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT-When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION -The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO-What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS-What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240
per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR-Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT-an archaic word no longer in use.
CEO-Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO- Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET -A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself
for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET -a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife
gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -The art of buying low and selling lower.
STRONG
P/E RATIO-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.
BROKER-What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR-Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST-Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT-When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION -The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO-What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS-What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240
per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR-Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT-an archaic word no longer in use.