cobrajoe
04-06-2009, 05:57 PM
The Divorce letter:
Dear Husband,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good!
I've been a good women to you for for seven years and I have nothing to show for it!
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job and that was the last straw!
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee!
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything!
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'M GONE!
P.s.
If your trying to find me don't Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Your EX-wife!
************************************************** ****
Dear EX-wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter! It's true that you and I have been/was married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been!
I watch sports so much to drown out your constant nagging. Damn shame it does not work!
I did notice when you cut all your hair off last week, the first thing I thought was "You look like a damn man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say something nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have confused me with my BROTHER. I quit eating pork seven years ago!
I went to sleep on you when you had that new negligee because the price tag was still on it! I prayed it was just a coincidence that my brother borrowed $50 from me that morning and the tag read $49.99?!?
After all this, I still loved you and felt we could work this out!
Sooo when I discovered that I had hit the PowerBall Lottery, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica for a month! But when I got home you was gone!
Everything happens for a reason I guess
I hope you have a fulfilling life that you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter you wrote.... you won't get a DIME!
So take care!
P.s.
I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my BROTHER, was born Carla. Hope this is not a problem. Enjoy!
Dear Husband,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good!
I've been a good women to you for for seven years and I have nothing to show for it!
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job and that was the last straw!
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee!
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything!
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'M GONE!
P.s.
If your trying to find me don't Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Your EX-wife!
************************************************** ****
Dear EX-wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter! It's true that you and I have been/was married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been!
I watch sports so much to drown out your constant nagging. Damn shame it does not work!
I did notice when you cut all your hair off last week, the first thing I thought was "You look like a damn man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say something nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have confused me with my BROTHER. I quit eating pork seven years ago!
I went to sleep on you when you had that new negligee because the price tag was still on it! I prayed it was just a coincidence that my brother borrowed $50 from me that morning and the tag read $49.99?!?
After all this, I still loved you and felt we could work this out!
Sooo when I discovered that I had hit the PowerBall Lottery, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica for a month! But when I got home you was gone!
Everything happens for a reason I guess
I hope you have a fulfilling life that you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter you wrote.... you won't get a DIME!
So take care!
P.s.
I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my BROTHER, was born Carla. Hope this is not a problem. Enjoy!