I want my youth back!

[dedpedal]

Gettin old sucks more than a 3 dollar crack whore and its less enjoyable. I dont have my ability to crack off a story like I used to, I cant work under the car all day without 3 days to heal. Nowadays I think about things that would make a great rant then think about all the insults of "hes drunk again" or "how stupid is this guy" It hardly seems worth it. The good old days, people enjoyed reading my goofy posts (which hardly ever were written under the influence).
So, my question is this: what can I do to get back in the swing of things I so enjoyed 10 years ago?

[JASON408]

drink:D

[firestang70]

Use your walker and fart in every aisle at your local Wal Mart. You will have great material for a year.

['92Stang]

A 19 year old mail order bride should put some spring back in your step..lol.

[Whyucryn]

Go eat white castle.

[dedpedal]

On the fart subject... I went to the store in Rabbit Hash last night for a beer or two and live music. Someone ripped off the nastiest fart Ive ever smelled. It literaly made my eyes water. I had to go outside. I dont know what he(or she) ate, but it smelled like whatever crawled up his (or her) ass and died had something crawl up its ass and died first! To say I was humbled would be an understatement.

[Whyucryn]

Sorry about that...

[dedpedal]

Yea, I used to be the king of anal emmisions but that crown has been passed on now. I even had mexican food for dinner.

[RIXXX93GT]

Exercise and start eating right, you'll feel ten to fifteen years younger. I havent taken this advice but I know its true.

[redfirepearlgt]

Gettin old sucks more than a 3 dollar crack whore and its less enjoyable. I dont have my ability to crack off a story like I used to, I cant work under the car all day without 3 days to heal. Nowadays I think about things that would make a great rant then think about all the insults of "hes drunk again" or "how stupid is this guy" It hardly seems worth it. The good old days, people enjoyed reading my goofy posts (which hardly ever were written under the influence).
So, my question is this: what can I do to get back in the swing of things I so enjoyed 10 years ago?

Try this. Write "REQUEST ID" on the back of all of your credit cards. It's a real charge to the ego when a 22 year old girl at the checkout asks you for your ID because she thought to look at the back of your CC and follow directions!!!! Always makes my DAY!!!!!!

Its all mental. Go to stay young mentally. As far as stories go, my grandfather told some of his best when he was in his 80's. You may just be out of practice. Have a good weekend.

[Mista Bone]

Kevin, wait until you start thinking you have Alzheimer's.......or just a case of CRS (can't remember shit!) from getting old.

[85_SS_302_Coupe]

Gettin old sucks more than a 3 dollar crack whore and its less enjoyable. I dont have my ability to crack off a story like I used to, I cant work under the car all day without 3 days to heal. Nowadays I think about things that would make a great rant then think about all the insults of "hes drunk again" or "how stupid is this guy" It hardly seems worth it. The good old days, people enjoyed reading my goofy posts (which hardly ever were written under the influence).
So, my question is this: what can I do to get back in the swing of things I so enjoyed 10 years ago?

STOP GIVING A SHIT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK



Works awesome for me. :bigthumb

[beefcake]

lol, no comment

[Black Horse]

Kevin - you just need more fiber to get things moving again!

[flyin2jz]

testosterone from your doc will make you feel strong and youthful. Go have your test levels checked. lots of people have low numbers and dont know it.

[2007ShelbyCobra]

Hang out at the local preschool, there are plenty of new friends to make there.

[Yellow98Cobra]

Hang out at the local preschool, there are plenty of new friends to make there.

That is pretty f'd up... :eek:

[Mista Bone]

Seem one hour under the car equals one day of stiffness.

Never been so sore just from changing a shifter on Saturday night!

[04 Venom]

Kevin - you just need more fiber to get things moving again!

Spoken like the true Philosopher King. :lol:

[bronzeLX]

:lol:
Sorry about that...

[89johnny]

Get drunk and fight some smaller people! it works!

[89johnny]

And piss on what everyone says about being a drunk.

[bangingears]

Yea, I used to be the king of anal emmisions but that crown has been passed on now. I even had mexican food for dinner.

mexican food, as in, CHIPOTLE???? How about a few good chipotle stories.

[BIGRED Z]

testosterone from your doc will make you feel strong and youthful. Go have your test levels checked. lots of people have low numbers and dont know it.

:eek: The day I hear of Kevin not wanting THAT...will prolly be the day we bury him.

[flyin2jz]

I got a good chipotle story. I ate a burrito there and the lady put a full ladel of hot sauce on it. Well it was awesome till I got home. I taking a duece and had a huge burning on my ass. I thought huh I musta got one of those little crushed red peppers logged on the rim of my asshole. Was burning like fire. So I kept trying to get it off and nothing worked. So I dealt with it and went and sat on the couch. My wife says you didn't use the back bathroom did you? I said yea why. She said I just filled that toilet with bleach. I told her I was wondering why my ass was on fire and the bleach must have splashed my asshole. I was in pain for like 30 minutes. Don't bleach ur toilets and crap.

[redfirepearlgt]

I got a good chipotle story. I ate a burrito there and the lady put a full ladel of hot sauce on it. Well it was awesome till I got home. I taking a duece and had a huge burning on my ass. I thought huh I musta got one of those little crushed red peppers logged on the rim of my asshole. Was burning like fire. So I kept trying to get it off and nothing worked. So I dealt with it and went and sat on the couch. My wife says you didn't use the back bathroom did you? I said yea why. She said I just filled that toilet with bleach. I told her I was wondering why my ass was on fire and the bleach must have splashed my asshole. I was in pain for like 30 minutes. Don't bleach ur toilets and crap.

Just had to pick my colon up off the floor from laughing so hard. DAG that smarts!

[dedpedal]

Thats just his way of covering up a botched anal bleaching!
Ahh the Chipoltle Challenge. If its an ingrediant behind the glass, it goes in the buritto. Ive completed a number of Challenges with mixed results of ass splatter to an undigested butt plug for a few days. I guess it depends on when the meat was caught outside the dumpster.

[BIGRED Z]

Thats just his way of covering up a botched anal bleaching!
Ahh the Chipoltle Challenge. If its an ingrediant behind the glass, it goes in the buritto. Ive completed a number of Challenges with mixed results of ass splatter to an undigested butt plug for a few days. I guess it depends on when the meat was caught outside the dumpster.

Where's the NASTEEE button when you need it??? :eek: And I'm twisted??? :lol: