Brother in law in my house when no ones home!

[beefcake]

I come home from work tonight. Wifes brothers car is in the driveway.

She's not home, she's at a soccer game with the girls.

I have a small gym setup in the basement. He's down there working out. He calls her and asks to come over sometimes.

The gym down the street is only $10 a month with no sign up fee or contracts. I don't see why he has to come over here.

I don't know if i'm being stingy with my shit, but it just bugs me that my house is like a friggin gym.

But it bothers me even more the fact to have someone in my house when i'm not here. I know it's her family. But it's my friggin house, and I just don't like people in here when i'm not home.

Am i just being a selfish ass? Should it be no big deal for her whole family to have my garage code and be able to come and go as they please.

It makes me feel violated.

[blowncobra]

Hell no Beef you have a right to be pissed that's your house/stuff you work for. It might be a bit different if it's discussed ahead of time for him to be there when you guys are home!!

[blown96cobra]

Change the code. They'll get the hint.

[beefcake]

thing is, the wife doesn't think it's a big deal. he called b4 he came and she thinks it's no big deal

i said something to her when she just got home and she's all bent out of shape.

she said "it's family".

i'm like, okay where does it stop. siblings? parents? grand parents? cousins? nephews / nieces? 1st cousins?

they are family too? should everyone have access to your shit.

[Moody]

Go over to his house crack open his beer chill on his couch rent a movie. It's ok your family right that's what I would do.

[cstreu1026]

I think its at least worth a heads up before coming over.

[mcat]

sell your stuff and join the gym down the street

[Black Horse]

Stop by his place every chance you get just to take a shit......he'll get the idea!

[sean]

Nope, not cool. I dont care who it is. Unless its my mom and dad. I dont go any where without a phone call first. I surly (dont call me surley) dont want some sweaty ass on my stuff either. After he sweats all over your equiptment does he go pop a squat on your couch and sweat it up too? Nope get the hell out. Now if I had a pool and they wanted to come over and swim, cool. BUT stay the hell out of my house when I am not there. If the wife gets mad she will get over it. One stupid thing happens and its a terrible situation. I would rather not risk a family war and just end it now. I wouldnt even talk to the wife about it. I would talk directly to the bro in law. I would prob get him some info on the cheep gym down the road and say no hard feelings but go there bro. lol

[svtfox]

nope i would not be having that

[mad max]

He should have asked you , not your wife . Thats a fine line to walk but i think you have ever right to be annoyed about it. I would talk to him about it and let him know where you are coming from . That should get your point across. Its a matter of respect.

[SJSlots]

I agree with the others but in my opinion the blame should be on your wife, not him. He asked her and she gave permission... but out of respect you deserved for her to ask you if it was okay... not just to assume it should be.

[draggin50]

Im an asshole but I dont want anyone in my house when Im gone. Dont like it, Who cares!

[sean]

Im an asshole but I dont want anyone in my house when Im gone. Dont like it, Who cares!

this.......

[TurboNG]

Just walk around the house naked, if he says anything just tell him it's ur house and u like to be natural, I'm sure he will stop coming over. If not than start working out naked while he is working out, tell him u can see the muscle groups u are working out better if ur naked. Problem solved!

[big cheif]

The thing is they never ask you, they always ask her cause they know the answer you will give them!

[latamud]

Have all your friends call you and ask to use your wife's stuff; hair dryer, curling iron, oven, dishes, shoes, clothes, etc. Tell your wife it's your friends/friend's gf's/wives and you trust them like family, what's the difference?

[Mista Bone]

12 gauge shotty, rack it as you are going down the stairs and asking WTF you doing here.

Then again if the wife had called you (at work) and asked if her brother could use YOUR racecar/tools/pool/shitter before you got home it might be a little different.

[BIGRED Z]

NO LIMITS!! Including me..I'm gonna need the code, where u keep the car keys...lol.

It's not so much an issue except when you both disagree. Even if she has no problem with it, the fact that you have a problem with it should mean something to her because you're the husband, you come first.

Personally, I wouldn't care if it were people I trusted, but if my man had issue with it, then I have to respect that he has just as much say so since we both live in the same house.

[rtvickers]

Just because its family doesnt mean anything. They are the ones you have to watch out for the most. She should have told him that she would have to talk to you about it first. I dont know how much you use the weights but if not often get rid of them. But if you use them alot change the code. You have to much invested in your personal belongings. Just my .02

[beefcake]

Stop by his place every chance you get just to take a shit......he'll get the idea!

thats what i'm thinking. asking for a set of keys to his house. that way i can stop by and hang out whenever i want

[Pitbull1052]

I'd have a problem with it Beef even if it was my own brother..... If you explain to your wife and as understanding as she is (she'd have to be being with you) lol j/k but explain how it bothers you, I mean enough to come on here and ask what we though anyway and I'd think if it bothers you it should bother her. Unless someone is coming to feed my dog while were gone noone comes in while were not there. PERIOD.......... let us know how it goes

[Markcore]

Here's my .02

If he had not called, you'd have every right to be pissed. However, he did call and your wife said it was cool. Let me ask you this... What if you came home and it was your brother or sister that had called and was down working out? Would you feel any different?

I totally understand why you don't want someone in your house when you're not there. I think I would feel the same as you if my wifes brother was there, but not if it was my brother. Family married in is family, but you never fully trust them like you would your blood family.

[bobtsgt]

the simple fix is to get a big ass chain and lock it all up haha and leave him a set of 5lb dumb bells laying on the floor with a note that says "this is all your aloud"

[05yellowgt]

Hey Terry. PM me your garage code. I've been looking for a new place to start working out.

[beefcake]

Here's my .02

If he had not called, you'd have every right to be pissed. However, he did call and your wife said it was cool. Let me ask you this... What if you came home and it was your brother or sister that had called and was down working out? Would you feel any different?

I totally understand why you don't want someone in your house when you're not there. I think I would feel the same as you if my wifes brother was there, but not if it was my brother. Family married in is family, but you never fully trust them like you would your blood family.

I would not have my brother in my house when i'm not home, my sister, no one. Unless i'm outta town and they are feeding an animal or something. But I prefer to board the dogs when we go on vacation because i don't want anyone in my house.

I've given out my garage code 2 times since i've been in the house.

1 - When Matt Johnson drove all over the city picking up a trailer, going to my house picking up my truck and trailering it all the way to georgia while I was out of town in florida.

I got a whim to go racing, and he went above and beyond.

2 - When I sold Kenny Hickman a bike ramp. Wife didn't make it home in time to meet him. So i gave him the code to the garage and told him to grab it.

I love both those guys, but i still changed the code right after.

I work hard for my shit, it's my house, i pay for it.

Maybe I outta invite my 3rd cousin over to use my wifes cosmetics and stuff when she's not home. Maybe she'd understand where i'm coming from.

[bandit'sgirl]

Seems the problems with your wife,he called and ask she said come on.
sounds like you need to talk to your wife.guess you need to tell him you dont want him there,if he doesnt like it,im sure you wont be upset...

[RIXXX93GT]

Yes like other have said, this is an issue between you and your wife more than her brother. You should have been called and included in the decision.

[03z06vette]

Stop by his place every chance you get just to take a shit......he'll get the idea!

lol....Thats a great idea!!

[firestang70]

You can pick your friends but not your family....Hey can I come over and work out???

[SCHMUCKINGHAM]

Lock all the weights up but leave the equipment

[Byrd Man]

Gee, every couple weeks when I come over you never get angry.

But I'm not there alone ;) .... you do know that I've been stopping by every couple weeks... right??? :D

[mwaller5672]

:lol:Your just mad because he knocked all the rust off of it.

[ojsherbergt]

the simple fix is to get a big ass chain and lock it all up haha and leave him a set of 5lb dumb bells laying on the floor with a note that says "this is all your aloud"

lmao:bigthumb

[JET50213]

My wife would absolutely check with me first....if for no other reason than to avoid her family getting capped!

[tonyr]

yea i would be pissed to mom and dads i could see coming over when i was not home i would change change the code and make your wife park in the driveway tell her to use the key lol.....

[thecollector]

:lol:Your just mad because he knocked all the rust off of it.

:) prolly had to vacuum once all that dust was stirred up.

I just had to have a conversation with my brother in law tonight. He rents the 2nd floor of my house. Came home and the garage door was unlocked. He was very sorry but never realized how much $ could be walked off with so easily. Right inside the door was a $3,400 torque multiplier, a $800 torque wrench, and a $500 multimeter... those 3 things alone exceed his entire net worth. Next time he'll be filling change of address forms out.

Sounds like your issue is 75% w/ your wife.

[sean]

:) prolly had to vacuum once all that dust was stirred up.

I just had to have a conversation with my brother in law tonight. He rents the 2nd floor of my house. Came home and the garage door was unlocked. He was very sorry but never realized how much $ could be walked off with so easily. Right inside the door was a $3,400 torque multiplier, a $800 torque wrench, and a $500 multimeter... those 3 things alone exceed his entire net worth. Next time he'll be filling change of address forms out.

Sounds like your issue is 75% w/ your wife.

My wife USED TO forget to lock the front or back door. I went off every time but she would still do it. It wasnt on purpose but it still happend from time to time. So to fix that problem I told my daughter every time I find the door unlocked and no one was home SHE is grounded. The wife thought that was unfair and the daughter was pissed. I havent found the doors unlocked since. lol I use the garage to come in and out and never use the front door.



ALSO terry let us know how you handled this problem.

[bangingears]

Gee, every couple weeks when I come over you never get angry.

But I'm not there alone ;) .... you do know that I've been stopping by every couple weeks... right??? :D

lol, you too???

[85_SS_302_Coupe]

I dont even feel comfortable with my best friend of 20 years at my place alone...not even my own mother. Its not about trust, its more about privacy i guess. I also dont like being in other peoples space when theyre not around so this is a definite no from both angles for me.

[duststang]

It would depend on how close you guys are? I dont mind my sister in law coming over when ever but she is very trust worthy and knows not to be bring friends with her when we are not there and I expect that she at min calls. Most of the rest of my family with the exception of my dad and in laws are not welcome unless I am there. It is not so much that I dont trust them which I dont but more that there is no reason for it. I agree with you and there needs to be some agreeable boundaries which makes everyone happy. If he has a problem with it tell him to pound salt? JMO!

[beefcake]

It would depend on how close you guys are? I dont mind my sister in law coming over when ever but she is very trust worthy and knows not to be bring friends with her when we are not there and I expect that she at min calls. Most of the rest of my family with the exception of my dad and in laws are not welcome unless I am there. It is not so much that I dont trust them which I dont but more that there is no reason for it. I agree with you and there needs to be some agreeable boundaries which makes everyone happy. If he has a problem with it tell him to pound salt? JMO!

My thing is, I just don't want people in my house when i'm not home. It's my house, they have their own house. They don't need to be in mine.

[duststang]

You pay the bills. I agree your rules your house.