Sitting here enjoying my feast of delectable delights know as Whiteys I committed a serious dinner foul. I leaned back to belch and farted instead. I think this was the Matterhorn of anally expelled methane. I feel like it was the shower scene in my first day in prison. On to other things. Im not what most people would call anal, but I like to eat my fries one at a time and put ketchup on right out of the packet. For some reason, its been my habit to squeeze the last of the red stuff out right in my mouth and pop a fry in. Tonight I decided to try something different. This time, I would squeeze the whole packet of ketchup in and toss an appropriate amout of fries and see if I liked that. Sitting here in a semi darkened room (one of these days Ill put a lightbulb in) I failed to notice that the packet I had retrieved from the bag was NOT ketchup, but indeed it was an extra hotsauce packet. I swallowed and sucked in a gasp of air at the same time. Now Im choking on the hotsauce coursing through my lungs, gagging and all the sudden, my ass joins in the commotion. Normaly I can walk away from my own stink, but this time I was litteraly paralysed in agony. Im off to the hospital emergincy room to have a zipper installed and my sanity checked. I apologize to any and all whom I have affected (infected?) over the years .
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